Sincere Advice for Every Bride

 

The advice of Umamah binti Al-Harith to her daughter, Ummu Iyas, before the latter left for her matrimonial home:

O my little daughter, if sincere advice should be dispensed with due to lofty manners, it would not have been given in your case, but it is done as a reminder for the heedless. And if a woman could do without marriage due to the riches of her parents and their need for her, you would have been most free of any need for it. But, women were created for men, and fr their sake the men were created.

My daughter, you have left the weather from which you emerged, abndoned the nest in which you were nurtured to another nest which you know not and a companion you’re not acquainted with. Sp by his having you, he becomes an observer and steward; so, be you to him (like) a female servant and he would be to you (like) a close male servant.

My little daughter, take ten traits from me and you’ll find strength and reminder in them. Companionship with contentment; live with him listening to him attentively and obeying him. Take care of where he casts his glances and check where he places his nose. His eyes should never sight an ugly thing from you, nor should his nose perceive from you except the best scent. Take care of the period of his meal and be calm while he sleeps for the hotness of hunger is indeed a burning flame while distraction from sleep is annoying.

Guard hid house and property; take good care of him, his servants and household for taking care of property is indeed part of good estimation while guarding the household and servants is from good management.

Don’t reveal his secrets and don’t disobey his commands. If you reveal his secrets, then you will not be safe from his betrayal, and if you disobey his commands, you will enrage him. Moreover, you should beware of showing happiness when he is sad, unhappy, and being sorrowful or depressed when he is happy. The first is of negligence and the second is annoying.

Adore him to the utmost;he will honor you to the peak. Be the best of what you can in agreeing with him, and the best of what you can in his company as long as you are him. And you should understand that you can’t attain what you desire until you prefer his pleasure and his desire to yours in what you love and hate.

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